These stories aren't mine, I usually don't know if there are other people I should give credit to other than the known authors stated in various posts. I've received these through email, church lessons and other sources. If you come across something that belongs to someone else I will be happy to recreate links to the great stories. Some of the posts are just a general listing of good ideas. Again, these ideas aren't all mine, though I don't know who to give credit. I hope you enjoy!
Monday, December 31, 2012
And God said "NO"
I asked God to take away my pride. And God said “No”.
He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said “No”.
He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience. And God said “No”.
He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn’t granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness. And God said “No”.
He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain. And God said “No”.
He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.
I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said “No”.
He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said “No”.
He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.
I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
And God said “Ah, finally you have the idea!”
Author: Claudia Minden Weisz
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Footprints
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed He was walking along the beach with the LORD. Across the sky flashed scenes from His life. For each scene He noticed two sets of footprints in the sand. One belonging to Him and the other to the LORD.When the last scene of His life flashed before Him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of His life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of His life.
This really bothered Him and He questioned the LORD about it. LORD you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me.
The LORD replied, my precious, precious child, I Love you and I would never leave you! During your times of trial and suffering when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Last Day
SUPPOSING TODAY WERE YOUR LAST DAY ON EARTH,
THE LAST MILE OF THE JOURNEY YOU'VE TROD;
AFTER ALL OF YOUR STRUGGLES, HOW MUCH ARE YOU WORTH?
HOW MUCH CAN YOU TAKE HOME TO GOD?
DON'T COUNT AS POSSESSIONS YOUR SILVER AND GOLD,
TOMORROW YOU LEAVE THOSE BEHIND,
AND ALL THAT IS YOURS TO HAVE AND TO HOLD,
IS THE SERVICE YOU'VE GIVEN MANKIND.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
The Candle
The CandleAUTHOR UNKNOWN
The candle is but a simple thing.
It starts with just a bit of string.
Yet dipped and dipped with patient hand...
It gathers wax upon the strand...
Until, complete and snowy white,
It gives at last a lovely light.
Life is so like that bit of string,
Each deed we do, a simple thing.
Yet day by day if on life's strand,
We work with patient heart and hand,
It gathers joy, makes dark days bright,
And gives at last a lovely light.
Friday, December 7, 2012
CHRISTmas
A woman was Christmas shopping with her two children.
After many hours of walking down row after row of toys and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the store elevator with her two children in hand.
She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of the year, getting that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, making sure we don't forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.
Finally the doors opened revealing a crowded elevator. She pushed her way in and dragged her two kids and all her bags of stuff in with her. As the doors closed she couldn't take it anymore and blurted out, "Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up, and shot."
From the back of the car, a quiet calm voice responded, "Don't worry, we've already crucified Him."
The rest of the trip down was so quiet you could have heard...

Don't forget this year to keep the One who started this whole Christmas thing in your every thought, deed, purchase, and word. If we all would do that, just think how much better this world would be.
Jesus is the reason for the season. Wise men still seek Him.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Marbles
I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas. I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.
"Hello Barry, how are you today?"
"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good."
"They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?"
"Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time."
"Good. Anything I can help you with?"
"No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."
"Would you like to take some home?" asked Mr. Miller.
"No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."
"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"
"All I got's my prize marble here."
"Is that right? Let me see it" said Miller.
"Here 'tis.. She's a dandy."
"I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?" the store owner asked.
"Not zackley but almost."
"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip
this way let me look at that red marble". Mr. Miller told the boy.
"Sure will.. Thanks Mr. Miller."
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile she said, "There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store."
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts....all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.
Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
"Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim "traded" them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt."
"We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho ."
With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.
The Moral : We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.
"Hello Barry, how are you today?"
"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good."
"They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?"
"Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time."
"Good. Anything I can help you with?"
"No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."
"Would you like to take some home?" asked Mr. Miller.
"No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."
"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"
"All I got's my prize marble here."
"Is that right? Let me see it" said Miller.
"Here 'tis.. She's a dandy."
"I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?" the store owner asked.
"Not zackley but almost."
"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip
this way let me look at that red marble". Mr. Miller told the boy.
"Sure will.. Thanks Mr. Miller."
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile she said, "There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store."
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts....all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.
Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
"Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim "traded" them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt."
"We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho ."
With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.
The Moral : We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
40 Wrestlers
In the days of Nero, the Emperor of Rome, there was a band of elite soldiers known as the “The Emperor’s Wrestlers.” These men were the best athletes in the Roman Amphitheater, and the bravest soldiers in all of the Roman army. They wrestled for the Emperor against all who challenged them. Before each contest they would stand before the Emperor’s throne and cry out “We the wrestlers, wrestling for thee, O Emperor, to win for thee the victory and from thee the victor’s crown.”
One year, in mid-winter, there was a rebellion waged in Gaul (modern-day France), the Emperor sent for his wrestlers and told them to go to Gaul to end the war that was raging on. This brave group of wrestlers left Rome under the command of Vespasian.
While in Gaul rumors spread to Rome that many of the Emperor’s Wrestlers had become Christians. When news of this reached Nero, the Emperor, he sent a message to Vespasian, and made this decree; “If there be any among your soldiers who cling to the faith of the Christian, they must die!”
It was in the dead of winter that Vespasian received the message while his soldiers were camped beside a frozen lake in Gaul. Vespasian assembled his troops and asked, “Are there any among you who cling to the faith of the Christians? If so, let him step forward.”
Forty soldiers instantly stepped forward two paces, saluted and stood at attention. Vespasian was stunned! He had not expected any to step forward. Vespasian said, “Until sundown I shall give you time to recant and to deny your faith.”
At sundown the soldiers were again assembled together and Vespasian asked: “Who still clings to the Christian faith, even if it means death?”
Again 40 soldiers stepped forward and stood at attention. Vespasian pleaded with them to deny their faith, but not one soldier would deny Christ.
Vespasian did not want these men he loved, respected, who fought side to side together, die at the hands of their fellow wrestlers, so he had them strip naked. Vespasian reluctantly said, “The decree of the Emperor must be obeyed, so you shall stand out on the frozen lake, exposed to the elements until you freeze to death. Should you recant and deny Christ, the fire will remain burning on shore, and by returning to the shelter of the fire, you will be denouncing Christ and you shall live.”
The forty soldiers stripped off their clothing, fell into four columns of ten each, and marched towards the center of the frozen lake to their death. But as they marched onto the ice, they chanted; “Forty wrestlers, wrestling for thee O Christ, to win for thee the victory and from thee the victor’s crown.”
All night long Vespasian stood by his campfire and watched those forty brave wrestlers out on the ice as they slowly succumbed to the elements. As they grew weaker and weaker, their chanting grew fainter and fainter; “Forty wrestlers, wrestling for thee O Christ, to win of thee the victory and from thee the victor’s crown.”
As morning drew near, one wrestler, no longer able to stand the freezing cold, walked off the ice and came to the edge of the fire, renouncing Christ. Vespasian could hear faintly from the frozen lake; “Thirty-nine wrestlers, wrestling for thee O Christ, to win for thee the victory and from thee the victor’s crown.”
Vespasian, standing by the fire all night, was thinking. As he stood there God touched his heart. Vespasian slowly removed his cloak, helmet and armor and calmly walked down upon the frozen lake to join his men, and as he walked, he chanted;
“Forty wrestlers, wrestling for thee O Christ, to win for thee the victory and from thee the victor’s crown.”
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Santa
Dear Santa,
If I could ask for just ONE GIFT this Christmas
I would ask for world peace.
But how would you fit it in a bag?
So I guess anything else would be fine!
PS. Fill it up!
Monday, December 3, 2012
Wise Men Still Seek Him
GIFTS OF THE MAGI
"AND WHEN THEY WERE COME INTO THE HOUSE, THEY SAW THE YOUNG CHILD WITH MARY, HIS MOTHER, AND THEY FELL DOWN, AND WORSHIPED HIM: AND WHEN THEY HAD OPENED THEIR TREASURES, THEY PRESENTED TO HIM GIFTS:; GOLD, AND FRANKINCENSE AND MYRRH." - MATHEW 2:11THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE TRADITION OF GIVING GIFTS AT CHRISTMAS. SINCE THE ONLY GIFTS WE CAN GIVE JESUS NOW ARE OUR LIVE AND OUR SERVICE TO OTHERS, WE CELEBRATE HIS BIRTH EVERY YEAR BY GIVING TO OTHERS.
WHAT EXACTLY ARE GOLD, AND FRANKINCENSE AND MYRRH AND HOW DO THESE GIFTS RELATE TO CHRIST?
GOLD:
A PRECIOUS METAL, GOLD IS REMARKABLE FOR IT'S BEAUTIFUL COLOR, IT'S DENSITY, AND IT'S FREEDOM FROM RUST OR TARNISH. IT IS WIDELY FOUND IN NATURE AS A FREE METAL BUT ALWAYS IN SMALL QUANTITIES. IT IS USED FOR JEWELRY, ORNAMENTS, GUILDING AND COMBINED WITH OTHER METALS FOR COMAGE. THROUGHOUT HISTORY IT HAS BEEN CONSIDERED PRECIOUS AND A SYMBOL OF WEALTH.
FRANKINCENSE:
FRANKINCENSE IS A SUBSTANCE THAT EMITS FRAGRANCE FROM OLD WORLD BALSAM TREES. IT IS CONSIDERED A LUXURIOUS INCENSE. FRANKINCENSE WAS BURNED BY BOTH EGYPTIANS AND JEWS IN THEIR RELIGIOUS DEVOTION. IT IS STILL USED TODAY AS AN INCENSE.
MYRRH:
THE ANCIENT HEBREWS REGARDED MYRRH AS ONE OF EARTH'S MOST PRECIOUS AND VERSATILE PRODUCTS. AS A MEDICINE IT HEALED THEIR BODIES, AS AN INCENSE IT LIFTED THEIR SPIRITS, AND AS A PERFUME IT PLEASED THEIR HEARTS. MYRRH IS A LOW AND BRANCHY SHRUB OR TREE WITH WHITEISH/GREY BARK AND BEARS FRUIT THE SIZE OF A PEA. THE RESIN FLOWS NATURALLY FROM THE BARK FORMING SOFT REDDISH BROWN DROPS WHICH GRADUALLY HARDEN AND FORM THE MEDICINAL GUM MYRRH. THEY POWDER READILY, GIVING OFF A PLEASANT FRAGRANCE, AND THE TASTE, THOUGH BITTER, IS NOT UNPLEASANT. OF THE THREE WISEMEN, BELIEVED TO BE MEMBERS OF THE CASTE OF PERSIA, ONE CONSIDERED MYRRH TO BE OF SUCH EXCEPTIONAL VALUE THAT IT WAS OFFERED BY HIM AS A GIFT TO THE INFANT JESUS, THE HIGHEST OF KINGS.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Jingle Bells rewritten
TO THE TUNE OF 'JINGLE BELLS'
DASHING THROUGH THE MALL
WITH GROCERIES YET TO BUY
LESSONS, WORK, HOUSECLEANING
LIFE IS SO CRAZY, WHY?
BELLS ON OUR PHONE RING
THE MACHINE WILL TAKE THE CALL
WE HAVE NO TIME FOR FAMILY OF FRIENDS
IT DRIVES US UP THE WALL!
CHORUS:
HOW ARE YOU? HOW'S YOUR LIFE?
WE REALLY WANT TO KNOW
HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR CHRISTMAS
NOW MAYBE IT WILL SNOW
A DAY OR TWO AGO
WE THOUGHT WE'D MAKE A TREAT
FOR ALL OUR SPECIAL FRIENDS
A CHRISTMAS GIFT TO EAT
OUR INTENTIONS WERE TOP NOTCH
BUT OUR SCHEDULES WOULD NOT BUDGE
SO HERE'S THIS YEAR'S EDITION OF
SOME HOMEMADE CHRISTMAS FUDGE!
Friday, November 30, 2012
The Lord is coming to visit
Ruth went to her mail box and there was only one letter. She picked it up and looked at it before opening, but then she looked at the envelope again.
There was no stamp, no postmark, only her name and address. She read the letter:
Dear Ruth:
I`m going to be in your neighborhood Saturday afternoon and I'd like to stop by for a visit.
Love Always,
Jesus
Her hands were shaking as she placed the letter on the table.
"Why would the Lord want to visit me? I'm nobody special. I don't have anything to offer."
With that thought, Ruth remembered her empty kitchen cabinets.
"Oh my goodness, I really don't have anything to offer.
I'll have to run down to the store and buy something for dinner."
She reached for her purse and counted out its contents. Five dollars and forty cents.
Well, I can get some bread and cold cuts, at least." She threw on her coat and hurried out the door.
A loaf of French bread, a half-pound of sliced turkey, and a carton of milk, leaving Ruth with grand total twelve cents to last her until Monday. Nonetheless, she felt good as she headed home, her meager offerings tucked under her arm.
"Hey lady, can you help us,lady?"
Ruth had been so absorbed in her dinner plans, she hadn't even noticed two figures huddled in the alleyway. A man and a woman, both of them dressed in little more than rags.
"Look lady, I ain't got a job, ya know, and my wife and I have been living out here on the street, and, well, now it's getting cold and we're getting kinda hungry and, well, if you could help us Lady, we'd really appreciate it."
Ruth looked at them both. They were dirty, they smelled bad and frankly, she was certain that they could get some kind of work if they really wanted to.
"Sir, I'd like to help you, but I'm a poor woman myself. All I have is a few cold cuts and some bread, and I'm having an important guest for dinner tonight and I was planning on serving that to Him."
"Yeah, well, okay lady, I understand. Thanks anyway." The man put his arm around the woman's shoulders, turned and headed back into the alley.
As she watched them leave, Ruth felt a familiar twinge in her heart. "Sir, wait!"
The couple stopped and turned as she ran down the alley after them.
"Look, why don't you take this food. I'll figure out something else to serve my guest."
She handed the man her grocery bag.
"Thank you lady. Thank you very much!"
"Yes, thank you!" It was the man's wife, and Ruth could see now that she was shivering.
"You know, I've got another coat at home. Here, why don't you take this one."
Ruth unbuttoned her jacket and slipped it over the woman's shoulders.
Then smiling, she turned and walked back to the street...without her coat and with nothing to serve her guest.
Ruth was chilled by the time she reached her front door, and worried too.
The Lord was coming to visit and she didn't have anything to offer Him.
She fumbled through her purse for the door key. But as she did, she noticed another envelope in her mailbox. "That's odd. The mailman doesn't usually come twice in one day."
Dear Ruth:
It was so good to see you again.
Thank you for the lovely meal.
And thank you, too, for the beautiful coat.
Love Always,
Jesus
The air was still cold, but even without her coat, Ruth no longer noticed.
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Give Thanks
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
Thankful...
For the spouse who hogs the bed covers at night, because that means they aren't somewhere else.
For the teenager who is not doing dishes, but is watching TV, because that means they are at home and not on the streets.
For the taxes that I pay, because that means I am employed.
For the mess to clean after a party, because it means I have been surrounded by friends.
For the clothes that fit a little too snug, because they tell me I have enough to eat.
For my shadow that watches me work, because it means I am out in the sunshine.
For the lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it means I have a home.
For all the complaining I hear about the government, because it means that we have freedom of speech.
For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot, because it means I'm capable of walking and have been blessed with transportation.
For my huge winter heating bill, because it means I am warm.
For my huge summer electric bill, because it means I am cool.
For the lady behind me in church that sings off key, because it means that I can hear
For the pile of laundry and ironing, because it means I have clothes to wear.
For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day, because it means I have been capable of working hard.
For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours, because it means that I'm alive.
For too much e-mail, because it means I have friends who are thinking of me.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Good Stuff
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
Stuff
Every fall I start stirring my stuff. There is closet stuff, drawer stuff, attic stuff, and basement stuff. I separate the good stuff from the bad stuff, then I stuff the bad stuff anywhere the stuff is not too crowded untilI decide if I will need the bad stuff.
When the Lord calls me home, my children will want the good stuff, but the bad stuff, stuffed where ever there is room among all the other stuff, will be stuffed in bags and taken to the dump where all the other people's stuff has been taken.
Whenever we have company they always bring bags and bags of stuff. Whenever I visit my son, he always moves his stuff so I will have room for my stuff. My daughter in-law always clears a drawer of her stuff so I will have room for my stuff. Their stuff and my stuff... It would be so much easier to use their stuff and leave my stuff at home, with the rest of my stuff.
This fall I had an extra closet built so I would have a place for all the stuff too good to throw away and too bad to keep with my good stuff. You may not have this problem, but I seem to spend a lot of time with stuff... food stuff, cleaning stuff, medicine stuff, clothes stuff, and outside stuff. Whatever would life be like if we didn't have all this stuff?
Now there is all the stuff we use to make us smell better than we do. There is the stuff to make our hair look good, stuff to make us look younger, stuff to make us look healthier. stuff to hold us in, and stuff to fill us out. There is stuff to read, stuff to play with, stuff to entertain us and stuff to eat. We stuff ourselves with the food stuff.
Well, our lives are with stuff, good stuff, bad stuff, big stuff, useful stuff, junky stuff, and everyone's stuff. Now when we leave all our stuff and go to heaven, whatever happens to our stuff won't matter. We will still have the good stuff God has prepared for us in heaven.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Poem of Thanksgiving
Coming up on that time of year again!
Twas the night of Thanksgiving, but I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep.
The leftovers beckoned- the dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.
Tossing and turning with anticipation, the thought of a snack became infatuation.
So, I raced to the kitchen, flung open the door.
And gazed at the fridge, full of goodies galore.
I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.
I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
"Til all of a sudden, I rose off the ground.
I crashed through the ceiling, floating into the sky
With a mouthful of pudding and a handful of pie.
But, I managed to yell as I soared past the trees...
Happy eating to all - pass the cranberries, please.
May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump.
May you potatoes 'n gravy have nary a lump,
May your yams be delicious may your pies take the prize,
May your thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Good Napkinds
My mother taught me to read when I was three years old (her first mistake).
One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom and not in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for "special occasions."
Now fast forward a few months....It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table.
When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!! My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter.
"But, Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!!!"
Original Author Unknown, probably too embarrassed now to take credit...
Thursday, November 8, 2012
Rose, Lily and Hawthorn
Many years ago Japan was walled in as a nation. During that time, learned men studied nature and met with little groups of men and women at night and taught them lessons of life.
One morning, when one of these learned men was about to leave the gates of the city to go out to study nature, a workman stopped him and said, "When you come in tonight from your studies, will you please bring me a rose that I may study the whorl of the petals as you pointed out last night?"
"Yes," said the learned man, "I will bring you a rose." He had not gone far before a second man accosted him, saying, "Will you please bring me a hawthorn twig tonight?"
"Yes," said the professor. And, even before he got through the gate, a third accosted him, saying "Will you please bring me a lily that i might see the lessons of purity that you gave us last evening?" And the professor answered, "I will bring you a lily."
Just as the sun was setting in the west, the professor entered the gate of the city, where the three men met him. To the first, he gave the rose; to the second he gave the hawthorn twig; to the third he gave the lily.
Suddenly the man with the rose said, "Why, here's a thorn on the stem of my rose!" And the second said, "And here's a dead leaf clinging to my hawthorn twig!" And the third, encouraged by the fault finding, said, "And here's dirt clinging to the roots of my lily!"
The professor took the rose from the first, the twig from the second, the lily from the third. He broke the thorn from the stem of the rose and handed the thorn to the first; he plucked the dead leaf from the twig and put the dead leaf into the hands of the second; he took the dirt from the roots of the lily and gave the dirt to the third.
Keeping the rose, the twig and the lily, he said, "There, each of you has what attracted you first. You looked for the thorn and found it. It was there. I left it purposely. The dead leaf was left on the twig, and you saw it first. Purposely I left the dirt on the roots of the lily, and the dirt was the first thing you saw. Each of you keep what attracted your attention; I will keep the rose, the twig, and the lily for the beauty I see in them."
--David O. McKay
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Spreading the wealth
An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had once failed an entire class.
That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.
The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan".
All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.
The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy.
As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.
The second test average was a D!
No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.
The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Halloween Poem
AUTHOR UNKNOWN
Since this is the time for goblins and bats
Halloween spirits and ghosts and cats
Weird happenings and witches brew
These are things we wish for you
May the only ghost that comes to stay
Be the Holy Ghost to guide your way.
May the only spirits you chance to meet
Be the spirit of love and warm friends sweet
These are you Halloween wishes for you
May God bless you in all you do!
Sunday, October 28, 2012
HOW I FINALLY TAUGHT THE BIG GUY A LESSON
I did not provoke the fight, so I feel no remorse for what I was forced to do. We were arguing, and since I was right and he was wrong, he decided to fight to cover his stupidity. He swung at me first, but because I was in top condition, I was able to act quickly and block the punch neatly with my head. I then jumped to the ground, knocking him down on top of me. I placed my ear in his mouth and poked his finger several times with my eye. His teeth hurt so much from the strenght of my ear, that he became irate and tried to kick me, but I cleverly blocked the onslaught with my ribs and face. I scrambled to my feet and ran to my car in hopes I would get away and save this man from my deadly hands. Before I could start the car he pulled me from the still open door. I then proceeded to swing at him, but only managed to hit myself in the head. To this I said: "what's this? Two against one?" That was the final straw - I lost control! There will be no mercy!!! Taking him in my death grip, I pounded him in the knee with my stomach - Then hit him two or three times hard in the fist with my teeth! He had had it! I could tell. After that he didn't even try to pick me up off the ground. HE WAS TOO CHICKEN!!!!
PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING IN LIFE!!
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Resurrection Experience of Zeke Johnson
Resurrection Experience of Zeke Johnson
Digitized By Glen W. Chapman
I have been requested to relate an experience I had in 1908 cr1909 in San Juan County.
I was just making' a home in Blanding and the whole county there was covered with trees and sagebrush. I was working hard to clear the ground to plant a few acres of corn. We had five acres cleared and started to plant the corn. My little boy Roy, 7 or 8 years old was there to help me plant the corn.
I'd plow around the piece and then he 'd plant the furrow with corn, Then I'd cover it and plow again. While I was plowing on that piece of ground, I discovered there were ancient houses there, that is the remnant of them. As I was plowing around I noticed that my plow had turned out the skeleton of a small child. the skull and the backbone, most of the bones of course were decayed and gone. Part of the skeleton was there, so I stopped immediately as my plow had passed it a little. I turned and looked back against the bar of the plow between the handles. As I was looking at that little skeleton that I had plowed out and wondering, all of a sudden to my surprise I saw the bones begin to wiggle and they began to change position and to take on different color and within a minute there lay a beautiful little skeleton. It was a perfect little skeleton.
Then I saw the inner parts of the natural body coming in--the entrails, etc. I saw the flesh coming on and I saw the skin come on the body when the inner parts of the body was complete. A beautiful head of hair adorned the top of the head and in about a half a minute after the hair was on the head, it had a beautiful crystal decoration in the hair . It was combed beautifully and parted on one side. In about a half a minute after the hair was on the head, the child raised up on her feet. She was lying a little on her right side with her back toward me. Because of this I was able to discern the gender of the child, but as she raised up, a beautiful robe came down over her left shoulder and I saw it must be a girl.
She looked at me and I looked at her and for a quarter of a minute, we just looked at each other
smiling. Then my ambition was to get hold of her, I said "Oh you beautiful child," and I reached as if I would embrace her and she disappeared.
That was all I saw and I stood there and I wondered and I thought for a few minutes. My little
boy was wondering why I was there because he was down at the other end of the row anxious to come and plant the corn. Now, I couldn't tell that story to anyone because it was so mysterious to me and such. Why should I have such a miraculous experience. I couldn't feature a human being in such a condition as to accidentally plow that little body out and see it come alive. A body of a child about five to seven years old, I'd say.
I couldn't tell that story to anyone until finally one day I met a dear friend of mine, Stake
Patriarch, Wayne H. Redd of Blanding. He stopped me on the street and said "Zeke, you have had an experience on this Mesa you won't tell. I want you to tell it to me." Well, I told it to him. Then he had me tell it to other friends and since then I have told it in four temples in the United States and many meeting houses and many socials, fast meetings, and at conference times.
I wondered, and it worried me for years as to why I was allowed to see it, a common man like me - uneducated. Why was I, just a common man, allowed to see such a miraculous manifestation of
God's power.
One day as I was walking alone with my hoe on my shoulder going to hoe some corn, something
said, "Stop under the shade of that tree for a few minutes and rest." This just came to me and I thought I would, so I stopped there and this was given to me.
It was in answer to my prayer. I prayed incessantly for an answer as to why I was privileged to
see that resurrection. I was told why. When the child was buried there it was either in time of war with the different tribes or it was winter time when the ground was frozen and they had no tools to dig deep graves. If it were during time of war they couldn't possibly take time to dig a deep grave. They just planted that little body as deep as they could under the circumstances. When it was done the sorrowing mother knew that it was such a little shallow grave, that in her sorrow she cried out to the little group that was present, "That little shallow grave, the first beast that comes along will smell her body and will dig her up and scatter her to the four winds. Her bones will be scattered all over these flats." There just happened to be a man present holding the priesthood (a Nephite or a Jaredite, I don't know which because they had both been in this country I've been in their houses and know it.) This man said, "Sister, calm your sorrows. Whenever that little body is disturbed or uncovered, the Lord will call her up and she will live. Since that time, I have taken great comfort, great cheer and consolation and satisfaction with praise in my heart and soul, until I haven't the words to express it, that it was I that uncovered that little body. Thank you for listening to me. I just can't tell this without crying.
Zeke Johnson
Son of Joel Hills John
This report was given to Glen W. Chapman the compiler By Bruce Johnson the grandson of Zeke
Johnson in the year of 1976.
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